Choose Happy: The power of WHY

A few months ago, I found myself being quick to anger during my commute or at the store or basically anywhere. I have a colleague who complains often, and I’m not saying it is her fault (correlation vs. causation, right?) that I’ve let my mood be affected negatively more quickly, but I’m also thankful that I’ve come to the realization that that is what’s happening. We are all human. We are affected and molded by our surroundings every day. An example I overheard recently was about a friend who loves listening to crime podcasts and is now startled more easily. This isn’t to say this was a good or a bad impact to her actions, but it is interesting that something she listens to was able to changes her reactions.

These changes based on surroundings could also manifest physically, where if you move to a new city with a different accent, for example, you pick up new jargon or inflection points. Whether we like it or not, our surroundings impact us. This might be why practices like meditation have grown in popularity – it gives us the chance to essentially ignore our surroundings, re-center ourselves, and self-reflect.

If you pretend you are a six-year-old and ask yourself Why?, then you might learn something about yourself.

Over the past few years, I’ve learned a valuable lesson about self-reflection. Why? is a powerful question. If you pretend like you are a six-year old and ask why you care, why something bothers you, why you did something or said something, why, why, why… then you might learn something about yourself and how to change it to make you happier.

As I mentioned, I recently was quick to anger, and when that hit me in my moment of self-reflection, I realized how unhappy that was making me and probably those close to me. As soon as I realized that in the middle of the situation that my brain had originally escalated, a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. I’m not saying nothing bothers me anymore, but I am making the choice of how much weight I place on it and being intentional about how quickly I let it go.

Asking yourself Why? is as important in learning what changes you can make to help you be happier, as it is in learning to be grateful for the beautiful aspects of your life as well. Personally, in my adulthood, I’ve become quite prone to tearing up from movies, songs, stories from my friends… happy or sad. However, if I step back and think about why I cry other people’s moments of happiness or sadness, I realize that I’ve become a very empathetic person, and I take pride that.

So, I recommend asking yourself Why? in your moments of self-reflection to learn more about yourself, about your surroundings, and about what makes you happy.

Photo from Unsplash artist Keegan Houser